‘We don’t remember days, we remember moments’ – Cesare Pavese

I can honestly say that I can’t remember any single day, from start to finish. Moments? My mind is filled with them. Good, bad, eventful, mundane. First kisses and final goodbyes. Joyful joys and awful arguments. Entire days? Nope. Moments? Oh yeah, millions and millions of them.

A friend of ours has recently lost her dad. She’s relieved that he’s no longer struggling, yet devastated at the loss. We’ve helped her clear out the house and help her how we can with the things that need to be done. Going through the house, we’d hear ‘OH! Look!’. Sometimes it was a photo, other times a piece of memorabilia that would trigger a memory and she would share it. Her descriptions were such that I could ‘see’ it.

Having been in her spot before, I feel her joy…and her pain.

The good news is that the acute pain passes. The bad news is that the acute pain passes. There is something in those first days of that ultimate loss…it’s ALL there. The good and the not so good. It’s almost like a spotlight has been turned onto the relationship that you shared. When my mom passed, I remembered it all. Her love for me, her sacrifices, her selfishness…her absolute humanness. As time has passed…my memories have become more of a highlight reel.

The moments…the moments are what remain.

I want to wrap our friend in my arms and tell her…you’ll smile…you’ll cry…you’ll want to scream…occasionally, you’ll actually forget and then remember that he is gone…and it will hurt like nothing you’ve ever known.

But…here’s what those of us that have trod this path know…they are never, ever truly gone. They live on within us, in our hearts. The love we shared lives…and because of it, they are never truly gone.