I don’t sleep well when I’m on the road. It’s due to a million different things…being away from home, time zone changes…stuff like that. By nature, I am a morning person so, regardless of what time I finally get to sleep, my body wakes up when it knows it’s early morning at home.

This morning was no different. I finally fell asleep a bit before 2a and 6a found me awake. I tossed and turned, burrowed under the covers, and tried to will myself back to sleep…all to no avail. Then I looked out the window and saw the beginnings of the sunrise. I decided that maybe what I really needed was some fresh air.

So, I got dressed and came downstairs. We are staying at this hotel that has a to die for covered front porch and an even better covered porch in the back by the pool. The winter storm hasn’t arrived here yet and it is the perfect morning to sit outside.

So, here I sit. Looking around, I see a river birch tree that brings back memories of my very young childhood, a red maple that oddly makes me think of being a mom, chairs on this porch that are big enough for two making me wish that Z and A were here to snuggle with. The quiet brings to mind the stillness that I was gifted with finding, the recognition that my soul is peaceful, and that my heart is full.

Yet, I have been struggling with the holidays…missing what was. I was reminded that time changes things…parents and grandparents pass, children grow up and begin lives of their own, but what I have found here, in the fresh air, is that all of that is still with me. The memory of the love, the heartache, the laughter, the tears…it’s all still here, in my heart.

So, I am going to sit a while, here in the quiet, and give thanks for all that I have been blessed by and with in my life.

Happy (day before) Thanksgiving.