Sometimes the person I used to be and the person I am now meet up and it’s kind of strange. It’s certainly not intentional and I will find myself in the middle of doing something and all of a sudden think ‘Oh! Hi there’. When it first happened, the person I am now would rail and gnash and say ‘That’s not who you are! Don’t be that!’. After a while though, I realized that there are parts of that old person that I really enjoyed.

Today has been one of those days. I’m kind of in full ‘stay-at-home Marci’ mode and I see myself hanging out here for a few days. There have been ‘mom-ish’ tasks and ‘homemaker’ tasks. Things that oftentimes feel like a chore, today feel really lovely to do. It doesn’t feel like I’m trying to work my way through a checklist or do anything because I ‘should’.

Then there were a couple of conversations that I had today that reminded me of just how different ‘old’ me and ‘new’ me are. There’s this part of me inside that still sits back in amazement as I hear that what is on my mind actually comes out of my mouth. It wasn’t anything shocking or rude…it was just that the thought actually was spoken into life. ‘Old’ Marci would have kept those thoughts locked away. I’m so glad that that’s not my automatic reaction anymore.

That’s the funny thing about growing up…we change. We change the way we think, the way we act, sometimes even the way we communicate. Sometimes it’s because we are trying to rise above our beginnings or change old patterns. Sometimes it’s because we realize that others don’t play fair. Sometimes it’s because our priorities change and therefore our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors need to change in order to support what is now important to us.

But I don’t think that we ever forget where we began. While I can only speak for myself, where I began wasn’t all bad. My upbringing wasn’t perfect, but the adult that I am is the result of my experiences. I’m not the same person that I was 20 years ago, nor would I want to be. There are times though, when she shows up, it’s like a visit from an old friend. So, for the next few days I’ll enjoy the visit. While I know that that’s not who I am anymore, it’s a part of myself that I love.

So, today I am grateful for growing up into the person that I am today…and I look forward to who I am growing into from here.